[At Bilbo's 111th Birthday] Merry: "Omg, I pwn" Pippin: "Sif, I pwn" **Rocket goes off Gandalf: "Pwned!"
Bilbo: "This = shiz, bai foos" Bilbo has left the server Frodo: "***!?"
[later, in Bag End] Gandalf: "Give teh ringz0r to Frodo" Bilbo: "Sif! It r precious!" Gandalf: "STFU NOOB!!!" Bilbo: "ok" Gandalf has logged on as admin Bilbo has been kicked from The Shire
**Later Gandalf: "Show me teh ring, foo!" **Gandalf rides out, does some research, comes back Gandalf: "OMGZ, it R teh ring!" Frodo: "***?" Gandalf has logged on as admin Frodo has been kicked from The Shire Sam has been kicked from The Shire
[At Isengard] Gandalf: "sup dawg, i r g4nd4lf da gr3y!" Saruman: "Foo! U R teh noob!" Gandalf: "***?!" Saruman: "Sauron pwns joo!" Gandalf: "Sif, I R leet" **Sarumon beats the **** out of Gandalf Saruman: "Pwned!"
[on the road to Bree] Merry: "look foos, shrooms!" Pippin: "Woot! Shrooms!" Frodo: "Ph34r!" Sam: "Shrooms!" Frodo: "PH34R!1!1" **black rider stops, sniffs, goes past Frodo: "OMG, packetloss!"
[Bree, in the Inn of the Prancing Pony] **Frodo is drinking and dancing on a table, then slips Frodo has left the server Frodo has connected to the server Frodo: "OMGz, dc'd" Aragorn: "OMG, noobz"
[at Weathertop] Merry: "Mmm, shrooms!" **MERRY IS BROADCASTING HIS IP ADDRESS!!! Frodo: "Foos! Ph34r teh haxorz"
**the black riders attack Merry: "OMG!!!" Sam: "O.M.G!!!11" Pippin: "***" Frodo has left the server **head nazgul stabs Frodo's ghost Frodo has connected to the server Frodo: "***... hax!" **Aragorn lraps into the fray with a flaming brand Aragorn: "PH34r!!!!!!" Merry: "LOLOL flamed! "
[on the road to Rivendell] Aragorn: "ZOMG!Arwen!" **Arwen rides up Aragorn: "A/S/L? Wanna net secks?" Arwen: "Sif! *** is up with Frodo?" Sam: "teh leet Hax0r " Arwen: "Firewall?"
**Arwen rides off with Frodo, the nazgul give chase. Arwen crosses the ford at Rivendell. Arwen: "PH34R!! My dad pwns urs!" **nazgul start to cross Arwen: "LOLOLOLO noobs!!1!" **the ford rises up and washes the nazgul away Warning: Connection Problems Detected nazgul has disconnected nazgul has disconnected nazgul has disconnected nazgul has disconnected nazgul has disconnected nazgul has disconnected nazgul has disconnected Arwen: "Pwnt"
[at the Council of Elrond] Gimli: "dwarves pwn!" Legolas: "Sif, Elves pwn!" Boromir: "OLOLOL noobs, men pwn!" Elrond: "STFU tards!!1!" **Frodo puts the ring on the plinth Gimili: "Sif ring pwns all!" **Gimli swings his axe at it, which shatters Elrond: "**sigh, noob"
[Frodo meets up with Bilbo] Bilbo: "OLOL, me = 10th level thief!" Frodo: "OMG, u r teh pwn!" Bilbo: "Do u still have teh ringz0r?" **Frodo shows Bilbo the One Ring Bilbo: "OMG u tard, I want to TK you!" Frodo: "sif!" Bilbo: "ph34r my mithril"
[The Fellowship leaves Rivendell] **Gandalf leads the fellowship through the mountains Legolas: "ZOMG, leet gfx!" Gimli: "I R dropping frames! FFS" **There's an avalanche which threatens to knock them off the shelf Gimli: "Gandalf, teh draw distance is too far!1!!1" Gandalf: "**Sigh. Moria?" Gimli votes to change map to Moria Votes 4 of 4 required Legolas: "lolol Gimli, time to upgrade!"
[The fellowship approaches the gates of Moria] Gandalf: "FFS, its too hard! Anyone got a walkthrough?" **The gates of Mordor open, but the Guardian attacks! Frodo: "OMG! ph34r!" Boromir: "GL HF" Aragorn [broadsword] guardian Legolas [arrow] guardian Gandalf: "gg"
[The fellowship enters the mines of Moria] Gimli: "OMG!!!! PWNED!"
**After travelling some time in the dark the Fellowship come to a chamber with a large well Gandalf: "teh bookz0r has some clues!" **Merry knocks a skeleton in armour down the well Gandalf: "OMG! noob!" Merry: "d'oh" **The fellowship hears the ork drums Boromir: "***?" Aragorn: "***?" Frodo: "..." Gandalf: "Oh ffs >.<" **the fellowhip shores up the doors as the orks come Boromir: "TEAMS FFS!" Aragorn [broadsword] ork Gimli [axe] ork Legolas [arrow] ork Aragorn [broadsword] ork Aragorn [broadsword] ork Boromir [broadsword] ork Gimli [axe] ork Gimli [axe] ork ork: "OMG! h4x!" Gimli: "pwned"! Legolas [arrow] ork Legolas [arrow] ork Legolas: "lol!!" Boromir [broadsword] ork Gimli [axe] ork Gimli: "Foos!" Legolas [arrow] ork ork: "ffs, wallhax!" **The cavetroll enters the chambers destroying the doors Gandalf: "Oh ffs!" Boromir: "Omg, its teh boss!" Aragorn: "Sif noob, we're not at teh end yet!" **Cavetroll slams Boromir and Aragorn out of the way, and then skewers Frodo Sam: "OMG!" Gandalf: "OMG!" Aragorn: "omg, pwn!" **Legolas jumps on the cavetroll and shoots arrows down into its head Legolas [arrow] cavetroll Ork: "OMG! PWNED!" Gimli: "LOLOOLOL! noobs" **The fellowship then runs through Moria, chased the whole way by a horde of orks Boromir: "FFS! Teams, foos!" **A flaming shadow starts to follow them, and the orks withdraw Aragorn: "Now THIS is teh boss!" Gandalf: "OMG!" **The fellowship take to long flights of stairs that are starting to crumble and fall. Orks shoot at them with arrows. Legolas: "LOL, noobs. Chex0r this out!1!" Legolas [arrow] ork Legolas [arrow] ork ork: "AIMBOT!" ork: "turn it off!" Legolas: "lolol!" **The fellowship crosses a bridge, Gandalf stops to confront the balrog Gandalf: "joo shall not pass!" Balrog: "***?" Gandalf: "JOO SHALL NOT PASS!" Balrog: "Sif, noob" **Gandalf strikes the bridge with his staff, cracking it and causing it to break under the Balrog's weight Balrog: "ZOMG! PWNED!" Frodo: "OMG! Gandalf!" **The Balrog falls and in a last act of defiance strikes out with its whip, entangling Gandalf Gandalf: "D'oh" Frodo: "OMG, joo foo!" Gandalf: "fly u foos, fly!" **Gandalf lets go and follows the Balrog into the crevass Gandalf has left the server Balrog has disconnected
[After escaping Moria the fellowship finds itself in Loth Lorien] **The fellowship rests, and in the night Frodo speaks with Galadriel Galadriel: "For a noob, u r teh leet!" Frodo: "Sif. I don't want teh ringz0r. Do u want teh ringz0r?" Galadriel: "******! SIF I want teh ringz0r. I have enough h4x of my own!1"
[The fellowship leaves Loth Lorien and sets out via river] Saurman: "ph34r my army of uruk hai! Go outz0r, find teh hobbitz and pwnz0r them!" uruk hai: "leet!"
[stopping at the banks of the river, the Fellowship sets up camp] **Frodo goes off looking for firewood, Boromir follows and confronts him Boromir: "Gimmie teh ringz0r so ** hax can fight teh boss!" Frodo: "Sif, foo. Punkbuster will pwn joo!" Boromir: "Naw, we play on non-pb servers" Frodo: "STFU noob" Frodo has left the server Boromir: "***! FRODO! Bring teh ringz0r back, faghat!"
**A group of Uruk Hai encounter Boromir Boromir: "OH FFS, TEAMS!!" Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir Boromir: "****ing campers" **Aragorn comes across the battle Aragorn: "Boromir joo noob! ***!" Uruk Hai: "Hah, pwn!" Aragorn [broadsword] Uruk Hai Aragorn: "I bring joo teh pwn!" **Aragorn goes to Boromir Boromir: "Damn lag!" Warning: Connection problems detected Boromir has disconnected Aragorn: "FFS!"
[Frodo returns to the bank of the river where he gets into a boat. Sam 'sees' him] Sam: "Frodo! ***! Invisibility h4x!" Frodo has connected to the server Frodo: "Sam, STFU and FOAD!" Sam: "Sif!" Frodo: "Oh, ffs n00b!"
to sem postoval ja asi 10 - 15 stranek dozadu ( mozna i vic presne nevim ) ... alespon sledujte co uz tady je, aby kazdej netapetoval topik stejnyma vecma :p
**Gandalf strikes the bridge with his staff, cracking it and causing it to break under the Balrog's weight Balrog: "ZOMG! PWNED!" Frodo: "OMG! Gandalf!" **The Balrog falls and in a last act of defiance strikes out with its whip, entangling Gandalf Gandalf: "D'oh" Frodo: "OMG, joo foo!" Gandalf: "fly u foos, fly!" **Gandalf lets go and follows the Balrog into the crevass Gandalf has left the server Balrog has disconnected
-Peace is a lie. There is only passion. Through passion I gain strength. Through strength I gain power. Through power I gain victory. Through victory my chains are broken. The Force shall set me free-
Snímky jsem nenašel, resp. nehledal. Naštěstí moji kamarádi nelenili a poslali mi je mailem (asi pětkrát), takže jsem zjistil, že má mezi nohama tu samou komunikační přípojku, jako tam má Helena Zeťová nebo třeba Diana Kobzanová. Kdo by to čekal. Myslím si, že Nova neměla ten pořad rušit. Co je špatnýho na tom, že se do něj hlásí kurvy? Tato země je plná různých kurev, viz výše a níže, takže pokud někdo točí reality show, pak nutně musí obsadit taky kurvy.
Kromě toho, ta ženská se mi na těch fotkách nelíbila. Má prdel jak vrata do kamenolomu a její poprsí je ukázkou toho, že gravitace funguje i na prominentní dcerušky městských zastupitelů. Napadá mě, co asi píše kurva do kolonky „povolání“, když vyplňuje nějaký dotazník.
A guy is in the market for a used motorcycle. He always wanted a big Harley. He shops around, answering ads in the newspaper, and is not having much luck. One day he comes across a beautiful classic Harley with a for sale" sign on it. Upon inspection, he is amazed to find the bike in mint condition. He inquires about it with the owner."This bike is beautiful! I'll take it. But you gotta tell me how you keep it in such good shape.
"Well," says the seller, "it's pretty simple. Just make sure that if the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain. In fact, since you're buying the bike I won't need my tube of Vaseline anymore. Here, you can have it." and he hands the buyer a tube of Vaseline.
The guy buys the bike and off he goes, a happy biker. He takes the bike over to show his girlfriend. She's ecstatic (being a Harley fan).
That night, he decides to ride the bike over to his girlfriend's parents' house. It's the first time he's going to meet them and figures it will make a big impression. When the couple gets to the house, the girlfriend grabs her boyfriend's arm.
"Honey," she says, "I gotta tell you something about my parents before we go in. When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes."
"No problem," he says. And in they go.
The boyfriend is astounded. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the family room, another huge stack of dishes. Piled up the stairs, dirty dishes. In fact, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes. They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.
As dinner progresses, the boyfriend decides to take advantage of the situation. So he leans over and kisses his girlfriend. No one says a word. So he decides to reach over and fondle her breasts. He looks at her parents, but still they keep quiet.
So he stands up, grabs his girlfriend, strips her naked, and they make love right on the dinner table. Still, no one says a word.
"Her Mom's kinda cute", he thinks. So he grabs his girlfriend's Mom and has his way with her right there on the dinner table. Again, total silence.
Then, a few raindrops hit the window and the boyfriend realizes it's starting to rain. He figures he'd better take care of the motorcycle, so he pulls the Vaseline from his pocket.
Suddenly the father stands up and shouts: "All right, all right! I'll do the damn dishes."
Jako nic proti, ale tohle bych vazne nechtel. Mam dojem, ze naplnit toporici teliska tohodle monstra krvi zpusobi okamzite odkrveni zbytku tela a tim nasledne odumirani nejdrive mozkovych a pak i dalsich bunek. Co to znamena pro tebe?
Klub Status Online je nejdulezitejsi. [Senior member].
Prijde takhle pani ke gynekologovi na pravidelnou prohlidku. Doktor ji prohledne, vse je v poradku a s pani se tedy louci. Ta se vsak porad nejak osiva a je evidentni, ze ma neco na srdci. Doktor na ni tedy trosku pritlaci, no a z pani vypadne, ze s manzelem zvazuji analni sex ale ona ma strach. Doktor ji uklidnuje, ze se jako o nic spateho nejedna, nicmene je nutno ucinit jista opatreni, opatrit si kvalitni lubrikant a pokud nechce otehotnet tak i ochranu. - "Coze?! Pritom muzu i otehotnet??" - "No jiste, jak si myslite, ze se rodi pravnici?"
Prijde takhle pani ke gynekologovi na pravidelnou prohlidku. Doktor ji prohledne, vse je v poradku a s pani se tedy louci. Ta se vsak porad nejak osiva a je evidentni, ze ma neco na srdci. Doktor na ni tedy trosku pritlaci, no a z pani vypadne, ze s manzelem zvazuji analni sex ale ona ma strach. Doktor ji uklidnuje, ze se jako o nic spateho nejedna, nicmene je nutno ucinit jista opatreni, opatrit si kvalitni lubrikant a pokud nechce otehotnet tak i ochranu. - "Coze?! Pritom muzu i otehotnet??" - "No jiste, jak si myslite, ze se rodi pravnici?"
Jako nic proti, ale tohle bych vazne nechtel. Mam dojem, ze naplnit toporici teliska tohodle monstra krvi zpusobi okamzite odkrveni zbytku tela a tim nasledne odumirani nejdrive mozkovych a pak i dalsich bunek. Co to znamena pro tebe?
No mas pravdu. To mi vzdycky trochu poklesne hladina krve v organismu, takze se mi na vrcholu hlavy spatne dokrvujou vlasovy cibulky a nasledkem toho mi vypadavaj vlasy a roste pleš.
Mistral (CoNT - sleeping member; laged and bored to death) Lord Ancient member of Forum Posthunters - Forum Outcast.
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